Do "Real Men" need therapy? - James R Phillips (CEO of ABOVE)

I will admit it I hated the thought of going to therapy, I was a therapist that didn't think therapy could help me. I will save you the detail, but this was just one of the many contradictions occurring in my life at the time. My thought process in most of my years has been the common male conception of therapy. unloading your baggage on another person while they give you positive regard ,and hold your hand through all of life's difficulty, while never breathing a word of personal accountability or challenging belief systems that are not helpful. I knew, and still do know this was nonsense I didn't need it!!! I wish it wasn't the case ,but these criticisms are valid. People talk about men's therapy in terms of "men need to learn to express their emotions", "men need to learn empathy", "I know if he just talked about his problems he'd feel better", "he needs to learn how to be vulnerable" ,and "can't he just be more sensitive". These are unproductive, condescending, and dismissive. The truth is men do benefit from therapy, and the most common reason they benefit is when they use it to adjust to genuine emotionally regulated masculine behavior. This isn't to say that men don't have substantial mental health problems ranging from anxiety to trauma resolution, however almost every relational ,and interpersonal issue I hear as a men's mental health specialist is related to inability to express "healthy masculinity".

The need with regard to competent, and focused men's mental health treatment is being recognized by society, and voices as diverse as Andrew Tate, Scott Galloway, and Jordan Peterson have all presented content many men feel is helpful. This is a diverse crowd for sure, but it speaks to the lack of standardization for specified men's mental health care. I did a search on a mental health referral sight that claims to have clinicians working with 150 different specialities for "mens mental health" the speciality was not even listed on the website. The evidence point to the fact that men's lack of interest in receiving therapy is matched by the industries unwillingness to provide it. There must be a reason the art and science of Freud, Jung, and Perls has lost the ear of the male audience?

The state of men's mental health is in an uncomfortable transition, and many men are already migrating away from entertaining any idea of seeing a therapist. The personal mentor, business coach, minister, or trainer is replacing the therapist. In the life of men who will acknowledge the need for some kind of "help". These are all valuable assets to anyone ,but they are not going to help you resolve your relationship trauma, assist in resolving symptoms of an anxiety disorder or reconcile an underage sexual assault. I can promise at ABOVE we provide complete services for mental health therapy for men, and yes I am going to hold you accountable to change, reject the notion of being a victim of circumstance, and empower you to changing behaviors that change your life.

If you are a man and you don't decide to get help even if you need it I get it, below are a few things to remember as a man navigating the therapy/ no therapy dilemma.

-NO ONE CARES- if you think people like listening to you bitch about heart break, a shitty childhood, or how you are special...they don't... no one cares about you like you

-NO ONE IS GOING TO RESCUE YOU- no one is coming to save the day it is just you against your problem

-YOU ARE NOT A CHILD- if your wife refers to you and "just another kid" you are missing something .... Big !!

-SUCCESSFUL DATING OR MARRIAGE HAS MORE TO DO WITH BEHAVIOR THAN GOOD LOOKS

-DAILY SCHEDULES ARE A GOOD PLACE TO START

IF YOU FIND THESE HARD TO SWALLOW.... www.abovebeyondyou.com