Moms Letting Go - Vanessa Phillips

Well, you all have followed my blogs since I wrote my first Mom blog. Here we are at my 4th one. I titled this Letting Go because sometimes, it’s the only option left.  When you have given every single mom option you have. When you traumatize and re-traumatize yourself repeatedly. Almost like an addiction but worse. Worse because this isn’t a substance. It’s your child. The one that you carried and gave life to. The one you would do anything for. The one you watched everyone give up on except you.  You have come to terms that this is not your fault, so where does this leave you? This is not a child anymore. This is almost 17 years of parenting. You have literally exhausted every option. Your bank account, sleep, peace, mind and heart has lost quite a bit. Everyone has watched the nightmare. They have whispered or felt sorry for you or tried to help. People that have never been in your situation will tell you never give up , never remove them from your home, etc. 

When you and your spouse have decided that enough is enough, you join in that decision and do what needs to be done. I’m here to  assure you, anything that brings your home safety and peace is the right decision. I have had to call police, watch my son get taken away, get blamed, receive hurtful calls from jail, sit in court and make decisions that are the hardest ones I could make. The absolute hardest most painful gut wrenching decisions are always the only safe ones you can make. For yourselves and the child. I have sat in hearings and watched parents not be able to make those decisions and I understand. I have also sat and watched myself and other parents cry and plead for help because you know there is only one decision left. To go home from that, and pack up your child’s room, the room where your memories are, where you can close your eyes and feel all of the fun, tears, fights, and laughter, anger, pain and more and to throw away and box up every last thing, is something I knew I had to do. To know they will not return to this place you created for them. You quietly wrap it all up, wash down the walls and keep the door closed. Sit on the floor one more time to really let it all sink in. You know while it hurts your heart, there is nothing left to do. You have to let those things go. Not your child, but all of the effort you gave to forcing him into a beautiful life, while you watched it all crumble around you. You now, must know you did your very best, as they approach their consequences that you tried to save them from…..and you hold on to your strength, and let the bad feelings go. A new chapter begins, you let the old ones go. You can do this. There are no expectations moving forward. Do not think of the future. There are no results without the hardest of pains