To the Moms feeling broken this holiday…Vanessa Phillips

Our children have the ability to bring us so much joy and yet so much pain and grief. You have read my previous blogs, about my son who we struggle with. It’s not going to be the happiest of holidays over here. We won’t get into that. 

First and foremost, I know it’s not my fault. That’s the most important thing that I tell myself. Tell yourself that too and please, believe it. 

Secondly, don’t feel pressured to attend holiday events, parties, family festivals, family traditions. It’s ok not to go. It’s ok to grieve what you feel you are missing. It’s ok not to want to see others enjoying their “perfect” families and listen to them telling you about their “wonderful” children. 

I will keep this one short and to the point. No matter what you are feeling this holiday season: it’s OK. It’s just December. Hug those that you know have your back, enjoy the things that you know make you happy even if just for a bit. Please know it’s OK to feel sad, grieve, or feel angry. There are a lot of other families feeling the same way. So turn down that invitation if that’s what you need to do, and if you are the one putting out the invitation, give back love, not pressure when they turn it down. 

Check on people, smile genuinely when you’re out and about. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others.