All My Heroes Use Steroids (Commentary on Male Body Image in Current Culture) - by James R Phillips CEO of ABOVE

I was four when I determined the identity of the two coolest people in the world. One of these people was a local wrestler named Barry Windam, he was a huge fit man with long blonde hair. I saw him on TV on Saturday nights. He was true, honest, loved his country, and always did the right thing, even when bad people conspired against him. I tried to dress like him, talk like him , and value the same things I heard him inspire others with, in the awkward yet honest way that only a four year old can. My other Hero I was fairly certain didn't live near me but I had an action figure of him with a giant Tiger he road into battle:He-Man. He-Man also stood for truth, integrity, fought against evil, and always prevailed against whatever sinister force opposed him. He was so special in fact all he had to do to go from average guy to the ideal physical specimen was raise his sword in the air, let lightning strike it, and he had muscles, quickness, and strength beyond any "mortal". The four year old version of myself knew that my heroes were muscular, physically imposing, feared, and respected...something about that made me place a lot of value on it, and admire it. The big strong guy that made everyone around him feel safer seemed to be the thing to be! I was eager to set my compass into becoming that person.

I had forgotten about the impressive physiques of my Heroes until I started noticing girls, and shortly realized that the physical traits of my childhood heroes is something they were very interested in too, just in a different way. I was pretty overweight, and late to mature for my peer group at the time. I remember obtaining a brand new feeling in the midst of all the hormones, bad behavior, and personal turmoil of adolescence...that feeling was I should be ashamed of my body. I did a good job of it. I remember I eventually cared less about my clothes, hair, and hygiene because no one could possibly be attracted to the kid that is 50 pounds overweight with no discernible talent that allowed me to stand out from the rest. I found myself avoiding mirrors, pictures, and social functions. The idea of knowing this about myself was enough, but was unbearable when pointed out by one of my peers. I couldn't have felt like less of a Hero. The unpredictable gamble that is puberty eventually played me a better hand when I was 15. My body began producing large amounts of testosterone ,and as I tolerated the mood swings and acne my body began to change quickly! So quickly in fact I lost 50 pounds, and grew 6 inches in the span of 9 months .. chubby little boy to grown man in less than a year .. Testosterone and Growth Hormone really came through for me! My clothes fit differently, girls noticed me for the first time, and I discovered I wasn't a bad athlete.

My story isn't so different than. a lot of men from my generation, but what is not commonly known for a lot of us is that it continues. It kept going through adulthood for me, I have lifted weights obsessively since I was 22, I immersed myself in the fitness culture, I got good information, and bad information. As I write this I sit here 46 years old, 6'3", 225lbs, with a bench right at 350 pounds, visible abs a few months a year, and still fighting the thought process of my 14 year old self, with the expectations of looking like a superhero only my four year old self could understand. I have built a pretty impressive amount of muscle over the last 20 years, and probably haven't noticed much. I do notice the aches and pains and the shoulder I can't sleep on anymore, but I count the physical discomfort as well worth it. What I don't find to be worth the trouble is the constant self scrutiny, guilt, and aggressive comparison that has filled my head far too often. I'm a therapist so I know many men feel this pressure, and it has became a running joke between my self and many clients. As a guy that spends a lot of time around people in the fitness culture, I know the reality of the physiques of superhero's, influencers, and athletes of today is that they are not naturally attainable, leaving many people scratching their heads wondering why they don't look like "Thor" after doing the workout in "Men's Health" that was promised to add 30 pounds of muscle over the summer. The guy who adds 30 pounds of muscle for an acting role is using steroids, every Mr. Olympia is on steroids, world class athletes of every sport are using steroids. This isn't to say these guys aren't the hardest workers or their achievements aren't real. The biggest guys work the hardest and take the most risk, but when you set your sights on looking like your heroes, please educate yourself on what you can safely obtain with the resources you have. My heroes growing up aren't all what I thought they were, but at least I know He-man was all natural..